Pandora evenings

My new favorite thing on these cold and dark evenings is to close the blinds, build a fire and light a big fat candle for the middle of the dinner table. Then I put out whatever we are cooking or reheating for dinner and put on Pandora on my laptop....a website that lets you create your own "radio stations" custom designed with the music, artists and styles you like. You can sign up free at: http://www.pandora.com/

I am so enjoying listening to songs I have not heard for years and finding new artists that are similar to those I already like. Now I prepare dinner to James Taylor, Carol King, The Carpenters, Olivia Newton John, Roberta Flack, even Huey Lewis and the News! Rod's Pandora is more instrumental with stations like jazz, piano, classical, blue grass and some strange techno stuff that he likes. I will say that his music works better for dinner; mine after dinner.



We also have some good praise music like Hillsong but I am enjoying catching up with some of my old favorites right now. It's nice to have music in the house again, I had given up trying to find music I liked on the radio years ago. What a difference to do the things we do on these cold winter evenings with great music to lift our spirits and add some energy.

This is New Years Eve and we passed on parties to enjoy a relaxing evening with our books and music...maybe we will watch an old movie or play a game before midnight but I know I will be in bed soon after if not before...these days I look forward to waking up rested and enjoying my first cup of coffee on New Years Day more than being out in the cold and on the roads...although last year we did have fun playing games at a party.

Having the kids home for Christmas, including new grandbaby Micah kept me too busy to blog.
How is your post holiday time going? How are you coping with the dark evenings and cold?
Maybe you need one of these Micah guys to cheer you up? :)

Butcher paper thanks

Remember back before Thanksgiving I was musing over my desire to bring the focus of Thanksgiving back to our blessings?
Well, I tried one of the ideas I had read....a poster, butcher paper, on the stairway closet door with a marker attached. Family and guests were invited to write in things throughout the holiday...one I always forget is really quite long...4 days.

The hard part was finding pictures...even of food which I was trying to downplay. I commissioned new son in law Dan to draw the church at the bottom.
It became obvious that Thanksgiving has become a "blip" between Halloween and Christmas, mostly ignored by our commercial world...even Christian publications were strangely vacant of Thanksgiving pictures!

Interesting that we downplay a holiday about being thankful so we get on with a holiday about getting more things? hmmm.

Anyway, it was a good focus and as you can see it caused some good direction of thought.
I hope others will try it next year....maybe put it in the back of your 2007 calendar for Nov 2008?

"When there is no hope, one must invent hope"?

The above drawing is by Ala, Age 13

Like many other children, Ala witnessed conflict between rebel groups and the Janjaweed. This drawing depicts a rebel soldier first shot in the arm, then executed by gunshots to the groin. Ali, a teacher in a refugee camp, said the rebels are killed this way to emasculate them. "They [the Janjaweed] know what they are doing," he said. "They are doing it with purpose."

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Many blog ideas have been circling my head the last few weeks, (oh and I did get my clean clothes all put away...I don't regret giving that time to ME). I want to talk about the effect of winter light deprivation and the depression and lack of energy, and some of the cool things people are doing to combat that...maybe in January I will get to it.

What got me out of my chair and here at the computer today however was what I just read in the paper today. It was in the TV section about the HBO special tonight on the African Sudanese crisis of Darfur that George Clooney will narrate on HBO called "Sand and Sorrow".

It chronicles the genocide of Arabic nomad Africans against non arabic black farmers. These arabs want to drive all the non arabs out and torture, killing innocent women and children , and other heinous acts seem to be perfectly ok from their viewpoint...maybe even fun? I cannot watch this as we do not have cable but a few things caught my eye in the article.

*400,000 people have died in Darfur...met by a giant international shrug

(If this many have died, imagine how many are maimed and/or refugees?)

*The media's response in 2006: ABC: 18 minutes, NBC: 5 minutes, CBS 3 minutes

(Martha Stewart got 130 minutes)

*Researchers who have gone to Africa to document this took paper, crayons, and pencils to "keep the children occupied" while they interviewed adults. The results were graphic drawings of what the children had been through and witnessed...many of these drawings now are on display on a national tour here in the US.

The quote in my title is by a french philosopher Albert Camus...and is used in the article in the context that something must be done to get the world past this passive "yawn" attitude towards such suffering.

I have heard that some evangelical churches are encouraging their congregations to limit Christmas spending on self and family this year and instead as a church, take on projects in places like Africa to provide life sustaining relief such as paying for a well to be drilled for a village without clean water to drink.

We have already taken steps to limit Christmas spending this year and I have already written a check to help orphans in this area of Africa, http://www.lahash.net/ ,but I can and want to do more.

Maybe the question to ask ourselves this Christmas is , "What would Jesus do?"

When did I start living this way?

I have so much I want to blog about but I still have clean laundry in baskets in my room. Actually I can't remember the last time I didn't have them in my room. This is not the way I want to live!
I was able to watch an Oprah today and it was about people who are hoarders and clutter bugs...my space looks pretty normal but it frightens me that I might end up like that when my mind goes (anytime now?)

This week was significant however, I went to Sally's beauty supply and they offered me a discount card, only $2.50 if you are 55 or older. I told them I would be 55 in February so they went ahead and gave me the deal. I was thrilled til I got home and realized I had just received my first "over 55 senior discount"! That was a little sobering. I am not sure I am ready for this.

I hope my future involves a lot of jewelry and travel...to compensate? Actually I probably get more fulfillment from teaching ESL and investing in other people but I like to talk about the travel and jewelry...even tho I wear very little of it.

I bought a really big frozen turkey tonight...I apologized to him as I pushed out the automatic
doors, too bad he had to die for us to feast next week..Daughter Bethany wants to be a vegetarian but she can't figure out how to give up hams, turkey, chicken, and occasional beef?
We both love animals and probably would turn into vegans if we had to kill them ourselves.
Does that make us meat hungry hypocrites? I'm looking forward to a kinder heaven someday.

I would like to mediatate more on what I am thankful for instead of the meal...but the meal takes a lot of planning. Surely Thanksgiving wasn't meant to be about football and food...(interesting that the super bowl is not enough for most Americans) Any of you found ways to bring back Godly thankfulness to this beautiful holiday?

Future commander and chief?

I borrowed this from Betty's blog - It'sboopchile@blogspot.com.

It is apparently several pres. candidates standing for the flag salute. Obama not only did not put his hand over his heart, he also did not recite the pledge.

I am seeing more and more people refusing to honor the flag or pledge. Many of them are younger so I try not to judge them for their IGNORANCE of what we have here and the human suffering that bought it.
But to have a pres candidate in that ignorant group!!
What is he thinking??...he wants to be the future commander and chief?

I will say I support his right here in America to make that choice, maybe that is something one should "salute"?

Something different

I watched the PBS special this week on Charles Schultz, the creator of the comic strip "Peanuts". I was looking forward to having something to do while Rod was away overnight being evaluated for sleep apnea.

I became so fascinated with watching the artist sketch his strip that when it was over I got the urge to sketch someone.

Since Rod was gone, I attempted to sketch myself on some notebook paper while looking into the bathroom mirror.

You can see my results to the left here, I don't share this because it is so good, I really have never had any training in sketching but I was surprised at the incredible passion I felt doing this...it was like my mind and body had been chained to a desk and computer or kitchen for years and suddenly my creative side just came busting out! To re create something from my eyes to brain to hand to notebook, it was magical! What is simmering deep down inside you? Maybe the rest of us need what God has put there. Let it out!

Hi, My name is _____....and I blog

I have purposely not posted anything for a few days as I was becoming concerned at how much time this whole blogging thing is taking up! Let's just say there are things around the house that really need to be addressed and I find myself blogging instead of addressing them.

Which has made me analyze some as to why people blog or read blogs.
I know for me it has been a way to get my feelings and thots out and be heard. It has also been a way of "connecting" with a community...in a sort of "sterile" way but still a connection is it not?

So, I want to keep that connection but keep the balance of a clean house, physical exercise, Bible study and prayer, ministry, and time for face to face, or at least voice to voice interaction.
I have devised a little test to determine if blogging is enhancing or consuming our lives:

1. The first thing I do when I arrive home is check the puter for comments on my blog
or check in on my favorite blogs to see if they have any new posts.

2. I blog or read other blogs late at night when I should be sleeping

3. I blog or read other blogs instead of preparing meals or doing basic cleaning

4. The subject that I blog tends to come up in most casual or even some business conversations.

5. I substitute writing or reading blogs for real human interaction most of the time.

6. I spend more time writing or reading blogs than I do in devotions each week.

7. I become frustrated when other blogs I know have more comments than mine.

I would say if we can say yes to TWO or more of these statements that we might want to re evaluate time given to blogging.


Do you disagree; do you think there are other questions we could add to the list?
What do you neglect so you can blog? At what point would it be defined as an "addiction"?

A new "understanding"

They came and cleaned our carpets yesterday. It had been a long time since we had the upstairs done, and I can't believe how clean they got everything...even old stains I had given up on including some red fingernail polish one of the girls dropped right in front of the guest sink of course. It is nice to look down at clean, fresh pile under my "standing".

I like to get carpets cleaned in the fall because if I am going to be inside a lot I want the carpets and windows to be clean. Didn't get to the windows this year but they look pretty good for some reason and I have had more pressing matters.

I feel like I am in a warp of pressing matters and wonder if this is how life is going to be , but then I think of all the things that have happened this year, wedding, funeral, birth, church crisis....I have a different idea of what normal should be.

We taught our 3rd ESL class last night. Every class our attendance has doubled, we are up to 8 now and 4 helpers. Yesterday it was the last and best part of a day that began at 5:30 am and ended about 10:30pm I wish I could get paid to do that instead of what I do. Maybe it is just because it is different? What would you like to get paid to do?

Tackyween

If I had awakened from a coma I could swear it was mid November if I went only by the weather. I am wondering what kind of winter we are going to have...maybe lots of snow judging from all this early rain and such a cool summer? What do you think?

I saw the first "Tackyween" blow ups today in a yard.

Guess you know what I think by the name but perhaps some of you find them cute and fun? I have never heard what kids think....maybe they really like them.

I could bear Halloween if they would not make them for Christmas, that's when I start having visions of me and a pellet gun at 2 am.....sorry but how many more ways can we commercialize Christmas....I love the lights and "tasteful" decorations but we have hit a new low the last few years...Lord deliver us from plastic blowups!!! I was surprised to see that many of these cost between $75 and $100. Seems like the same money could buy something wonderful and more enduring....like a new lawn mower and some bark dust for some of these sleezy yards...but I digress.

Today the sun finally won and is shining on my potted plants outside the window...I really like the red streaked grass I potted, it will be nice to look at all winter when everything else is green on green and blossoms are something not seen til spring comes back.

How's your October going?

Birds of a feather...

We had a rare treat this week. Daughter Erin invited us to come to NW Portland to watch the Swifts swarm into a large chimney at Chapman grade school.

These little birds stay in flight all day eating insects and then at dusk congregate from miles up in the sky to dive bomb into this large unused chimney every dusk for several weeks until they continue their migration to Central and South America for the winter. They cannot perch like a normal bird during the day but they can cling to the inside walls of the chimney and evidently to each other. How tired and warm they must be after an average day in the air!

30 -40,000 birds cramming into one chimney brings a whole community of people out at dusk with their lawn chairs, blankets, dogs, supper and kids to watch this nightly event.

Cheers were heard as the last of the birds joined the main swirl into the chimney, boos and gasps as a hawk tried to swoop in for an easy supper 3 times.

We took friends back the next night...no movie theater could have offered such a show.

It was a natural air show of choreography, cooperation, and beauty. I can see God creating it to the orchestration of majestic music.

Pet Rules or Pets Rule?

My sister in St Louis sent this text in an email fwd.
I will share it for any other pet lovers.

PET RULES To be posted VERY LOW on the refrigerator door - nose height.

Dear Dogs and Cats,

*The dishes with the paw print are yours and contain your food. The other dishes are mine and contain my food. Please note, placing a paw print in the middle of my plate and food does not stake a claim for it becoming your food and dish, nor do I find that aesthetically pleasing in the slightest.

* The stairway was not designed by NASCAR and is not a racetrack. Beating me to the bottom is not the object. Tripping me doesn't help because I fall faster than you can run. *I cannot buy anything bigger than a king sized bed. I am very sorry about this. Do not think I will continue sleeping on the couch to ensure your comfort. Dogs and cats can actually curl up in a ball when they sleep. It is not necessary to sleep perpendicular to each other stretched out to the fullest extent possible. I also know that sticking tails straight out and having tongues hanging out the other end to maximize space is nothing but sarcasm

*For the last time, there is not a secret exit from the bathroom. If by some miracle I beat you there and manage to get the door shut, it is not necessary to claw, whine, meow, try to turn the knob or get your paw under the edge and try to pull the door open. I must exit through the same door I entered. Also, I have been using the bathroom for years --canine or feline attendance is not required.

*The proper order is kiss me, then go smell the other dog or cat's butt. I cannot stress this enough!

To All Non-Pet Owners Who Visit & Like to Complain About Our Pets:

1. They live here. You don't.

2. If you don't want their hair on your clothes, stay off the furniture. (That's why they call it "fur"niture.)

3. I like my pets a lot better than I like most people.

4. To you, it's an animal. To me, he/she is an adopted son/daughter who is short, hairy, walks on all fours and doesn't speak clearly.

(I still know the difference between people and animals but still a cute article don't you think?)

Water, water, everywhere.....

Just got back from Orcus Island, one of the San Juan Islands. Thinking back on what draws me back to that island I think it must be the water. It is about as close to the water as I get and I love it. The ferry ride over, the view of the water, building a fire on the beach.

Speaking of water, we shut off the water here at the house just to be safe this time only to come home to a flooded laundry room and tiles buckled and warped. I was just dreading unpacking the food for 6 people after 5 hours on the freeway but instead we were ankle deep in wet towels and moving heavy appliances around trying to mop up and dry the subfloor.

Windows open, fans on, 24 hours later we are ready to glue the tile back down.

What happened? All we know is the new washer was full to the brim with cold clear water and I had not turned it on before leaving. Maybe some sort of reaction to the sudden loss of pressure?

If you know about these things please comment, we don't want to repeat this!

Bye Bye Baby

We dropped off our youngest daughter at the airport tonight to fly by herself on a red eye flight to study in Mexico for a month.


I don't know why my daughters are so independent! I have told them all the horror stories of young women traveling alone and yet they plan these trips to foreign countries by themselves and expect me to be happy for them. They usually have a pretty good plan once they get there that includes host homes or other people but I hate putting them on that plane alone.


They are of age now and save up their money for these adventures plus work for their tuition so I ask God to go with them and watch out for all the things that we parents know could happen esp to a young woman traveling alone. My mother worried about me at that age but at least I traveled with other people.

I have decided they have inherited their grandmother's genetics, both of which had more confidence than good sense at times. I know it isn't my genetics because I like to travel with people I know...I am terrified of being alone in this world. I also think it is just plain unwise for anyone to travel alone unless it is really necessary.

If all goes as planned I will get a call sometime tomorrow from her. This is her year to travel so if you want to live with a host family in Mexico and study Spanish and later this year travel and study in Scotland, Ireland, and England go to her new travel blog on my links; http://www.atimetotravel.blogspot.com/

The last glowing ember

I had to let go this last week of my childhood home. My Mom stayed in our family home almost until the very end of her life and refused to size down or get rid of anything into her 87th year of life.

She used to say to me, " It will be you kids' problem when I'm gone" and laugh.

Well it is our problem but I don't think she could have imagined how much pain and grief it has added to her death this April.

Instead of grieving the letting go of my childhood home and things like her biscuit mixing pan and cake plate, and other sentimental pieces over a period of time, I have had to let go of my mother, go through her entire house, storage shed, and barn all in one week. Now just weeks later the house itself is ready to go up for sale.

The feelings I am left with are breathless, ripping, pain. Like the intense pain of giving birth in 20 minutes instead of 20 hours. I try to not feel it during the day, count my blessings, etc...but in the middle of the night I wake up, my defenses down, the pain of loss overwhelms me. I feel helpless because there is no "rational" reason to any other course of action, yet I long for someone to understand and help me grieve this...but there is no one really.

Just when you think you have gone through the worst of it, you realize that you have to let go of yet another thing with no time to grieve its loss. Never again can I "go home". Someone else will live there, change the colors, remodel, or even neglect this beautiful home my Dad built and no one else ever lived in. I am now the stranger to that home and that town in central Oregon

Yes, I have my own home now, but letting go of these things takes time, time I was not given.

I used to call my Mom and talk about these difficult cases that come along in one's adult life but I can't do that either.

I had other subjects to blog about but I realized this is what consumes me now. To write about those other subjects right now would not give the necessary weight to what I am going through.

In all this probably the most disconcerting part is that most people in my circle of friends don't seem to have an understanding of this, so I am alone in this new pain...like a phantom moving about among the living with deep wounds that no one seems to be able to see or hear of.

So, the glowing ember of my childhood grows weak and I stand helplessly on the sidelines and watch as it grows weaker by days instead of fading over the years. There is no arm around my shoulders holding up knees that threaten to buckle in grief somedays. Husband Rod tries to help but really can't get into my head and heart on this one.

Can I get beyond this? Yes, I know others have...but somehow I feel that part of me is dying and I will carry that dead little girl with me to my grave... no one will know or care about her but me. I will miss her, I will not be the same person without her.

Summer traditions

We just returned from camping in central Oregon with my side of the family and our grown kids. This is now the only time we take the camper out...we used to take it out at least 3 times each summer...too much work and gas nowdays and our grown kids camp without us now.

The "Coopers" started camping together about 28 years ago and now it has become a beloved tradition with many memories of engagements, newly weds, babies, elderly parents, and a Saturday potluck that quiets us all down for a least an hour of summer feasting.

This was a tough year with my Mom just passing away in April. She was the "glue" that held us all together and the campout was her favorite weekend. I wondered if we could survive without her and Dad but somehow we just did what we always do.

When nephew Forrest sang and played my folks' favorite love ballad on the guitar I could not join in for the first time...I always used to look over at Mom and Dad and watch Daddy hold Mom's hand if she was close by, now the song brought tears to my eyes and my throat much too choked up to sing.

I have no sadness for them, now in the presence of Jesus and free of this burdensome life, but my heart still is tender for the loss of both parents in a way that can make a 50 something year old new grandmother feel small and child like again. They were so in love....it made us feel secure and hopeful to have that foundation all those years.

Now a new generation claims the traditons and songs. Little blond children bobbing in and out of trailers and playing at the base of tall trees hold the promise that this tradition will live on.

Do you think traditions are important? Are they worth working to keep them alive?

Go visit Gitta

My daughter Bethany's college roommate Brigitta is doing a stint at the mayo clinic this summer as part of her Seattle Pacific U. nursing school experience.
She has left the Seattle Wa. area for the summer and is living on site at the Mayo clinic in Rochester Minnesota and was placed with three total strangers (other nursing students)



She has also never blogged before this summer and is doing a BANG UP job of describing what it is like to transplant oneself from her native Seattle Wa to this great lakes part of the USA and all the interesting things one might encounter at one of the Mayo clinics.
I think she is a great blogger. Give her blog a visit...we gotta encourage this girl...she's a natural writer and I love going with her on her adventures! She only has access to the Internet sporadically so surprise her with some comments! See "Gittasadventures" link on my links.

My secret indulgence

I have an indulgence. It is Pepsodent tooth paste. Is it just me or is it hard to find in the stores these days.

I keep a tube in my travel kit so my mouth gets a little vacation too when we travel. I don't want to get tired of it so that way I don't.

I just discovered that Pepsodent has a unique flavor that I finally identified last week. It is not in your regular mint families but it is a flavoring used in lots of other personal products that I finally ID'd. Anyone want to guess what the flavor is?

Count backwards from ten to one...TAKE OFF!

I had to go back and see the nice doctors and nurses this week for a little followup procedure.
This one required full general anesthesia however. I knew someday I would have to face this!
Something about giving up control and being put completely out...I thought the conscious sedation for the colonoscopy was a big step earlier this month!
Everything turned out fine and now I won't be afraid if I have to have it again someday for a more serious condition.
I seem to worry about things like this more than most people. My doctor says it is because I was in the medical field and I know too much, but does that explain why I don't like to fly in commercial airplanes?
(If I could just check in with the cockpit and make sure everyone is feeling well, slept good last night?, no fight with the spouse or suicidal impulses today? Maybe a little interview with the plane mechanic.....)
Anyone else out there have these issues?

Not my idea of a cruise

Rod and I survived our first colonoscopy.
Drinking that awful salt sludge was definately the worst part. By phase 2 we decided we liked drinking it straight and chasing it better than mixing it with something and prolonging the misery.

They had to try five times to get an IV in me, I think I was dehydrated from all the salt. They finally called in the supervisor to do the IV and she ended up being in my nursing class at Good Samaritan and was on my floor in the dorm 30+ years ago. We had some laughs.

I was teasing them in the procedure room that with our high insurance deductible this was costing us as much as a nice cruise which I have never taken and that I was waiting for them to make it more fun. The next thing I knew I was waking up from a nap in the other room and they were offering me juice and crackers.

Pretty slick, no pain, no soreness, just a nice little nap. I had 3 polyps that they removed so I have to repeat in 5 years. Rod was clean so he can wait 10 years.

I guess it takes a while for the "conscious sedation" to wear off because when daughter Bethany picked us up afterwards she said we kept asking the same questions and forgetting what she had just answered so maybe we weren't fit to drive but we FELT normal.
We all went out for a little soup, an event Rod has no recollection of, and came home to get hydrated and promptly all fell asleep, even the dog. I thot it was Bethany snoring oddly but it was the dog between Rod's legs on the couch.

I still think a cruise would have been more fun but at least when we do go I won't be worried about whether I am harboring colon cancer, the 3rd killer of people our age.

I can't believe I put it off so long...it was a "breeze".

I've never done a wedding!

My second child (daughter Erin), was married this last Saturday.

The week before the wedding people would come up to me and ask the same question, "Are you ready for the wedding?" It was a perfectly reasonable question but my response did not seem to be what they wanted to hear. I would answer, "How do I know if we are ready, I have never planned a wedding before!"

In the last 6 months I have learned an amazing amount of information about what goes into planning a wedding. As I sat there on the front row watching my daughter vow her love to my new son in law, I thought, "Wow, 6 months of planning, buying, cleaning, for a one hour ceremony and simple reception." I feel like I should change careers and use all this amazing info now but in reality I will just appreciate the next wedding I attend a lot more.

Here's a couple of things I learned:

1. There is a reason why florists get paid for "designing" flowers for special occasions.

They have access to wholesale flowers, tools, and supplies in a world the rest of us know little about.

Don't think you are going to save money by trying to be one of these professionals. Flowers have to be designed the day before and the bouquets, corsages, etc have to be kept in water or moist and chilled, then transported to the wedding all in the 12 hours before the big event. You do NOT want to do this on top of being mother of the bride! You will be master minding everything else.

2. It is not buying the food, it is getting it prepared, served, and cleaned up afterword that you need help with. Either hire this done or have some VERY talented and GOOD friends you can count on. If the facility says their volunteers will take care of everything...HAVE A BACK UP PLAN and people to jump in if necessary. (this happened to me this last weekend)

People will forgive you if the ceremony has glitches, but when they hit that reception hall you don't want 300 people waiting for the food to be put out!

3. Email family, guests, and wedding party with instructions re what time to show up and what to expect. If they need to grab some lunch before a 2 pm wedding give them those instructions and what is the earliest time they should show up for pictures or for guests, how early to arrive.

We decided next time we will make sack lunches for the wedding party with their names on them, otherwise someone always goes hungry...this time it was the maid of honor who was running errands when the snacks were set out for the attendants.

4. Delegate! When people offer to help (or owe you), keep them in mind esp for those last minute details that are no biggie but on top of everything else a lot. We had to send someone out to buy different candles, with specifics most people can do these kind of errands even last minute.

Utilize the bridal party...if you think about, you will know who can handle what jobs and most jobs are really pretty minimal requests but a big help altogether.

5. Have some kind of a program plan for the reception. We had a family member MCEE and he introduced the Bride and Groom as they entered, determined the oldest married couple there, set up the toasts, etc .

6. Plan how and where you can connect with family afterwards.

People make a real effort to come, some from good distances, you need a place to "catch up and debrief" after the wedding if possible.

7. Expect that something will go wrong. (We forgot to put on the music during the reception)

But in the famous words of my deceased mother in law, Irene Willett, " In the end they will be just as married!" So don't miss the moment...soak it in.

Do you know this terrorist?

I have a weed that has invested my flower beds now for a few years. I call it "pop weed" for lack of its real name due to its ability to make little spring loaded coiled seeds that fly in all directions when you touch it once it gets to maturity.
I fight it on every front, thinking if I get every last one each spring there will be no "hosts" left to reproduce and I will rid myself of it. When it warms up enough, I spray with toxic sprays that give me headaches for the next 6 hours, yet it reappears in my flowers every spring.
I just return from walking the dog and realized that even though it is not yet officially spring and the air still has a definite winter bite, this weed is already going to seed in my soggy, frigid, flower beds. I search for it on my walks in other beds around the neighborhood to no avail. Even the most unkempt beds seem to be spared this curse....I walk by and look on with wonder that no one else seems to be fighting this crusade!

One of the most fascinating facts about my nemesis however is that the poorer the soil the quicker it matures and reproduces. Instead of being 3 -5 inches tall and lush, it might go to seed at only 1.5 inches in a matter of what seems like only hours. As I despaired today to see this already happening in the winter, I wondered if a similar phenomenon occurs in humans who live for several generations under impoverished, harsh conditions. Do the women start maturing earlier in order to reproduce themselves before the harshness of their environment takes it toll on them and they succumb to malnutrition and disease? Hmmm.

What is your second language?

Rod and I finished up a new endeavor this year, teaching English as a second language (ESL).
Our class consisted of a Latino couple we have insured at our business and two Asian ladies from the nail salon I use.
We started in October and finished on March 15th.
This has to be one of the craziest endeavors that Rod ever talked me into but it worked! We were taking Spanish ourselves, preparing for a quick week trip to Guadalajara Mexico when our teacher asked us if we would be interested in "tutoring" some Latinos in English in exchange for some help from them with our Spanish.

Well, Rod gets very enthusiastic about these things and begin to invite everyone we came in contact with that looked like they could use a little help with English. When I would express my concern he would assure me that "We can do this". Thanks to my background in teaching phonics we were able to put together some pretty good material and I can say now that I am quite proud of the progress these wonderful people made this year.
I was inspired by these new friends and their ability to navigate our culture. They are so far ahead of me in that they already speak TWO languages, just need a little help with the second one, some more than others.

Sometimes you hear "natives" making derogatory remarks about these new comers. I don't think I have ever known any of these "commentators" that could speak another language yet somehow they feel that having been passively pushed out of the womb into a free country like ours makes them above these others.
Many internationals seem to be bringing a lot more to our country than some of their critics. We readily hire and use these people to do our nails, roof our houses, and clean up after us but "tsk, tsk" about the jobs they are taking when in our own little clicks.

I have had some experiences that made me resent immigration but in each case I was viewing them from outside their circle, unable to understand their language or cultural ways. Meeting with non natives every week puts a "face and personality" to these foreigners and you soon see how much like you and I they are. Loving parents, struggling bread winners.....

Rod and I are finishing the book, "Infidel. The author talks about the prejudice between different blacks within the the same regions of Africa who may have slightly different shapes of noses, hair curliness, or shade of black skin color, etc. It is chilling to hear how these "different" people are characterized with the same characteristics we commonly hear people use to describe "different" people here; lazy, dirty, immoral, dishonest, etc. You could close your eyes and be in a cafe somewhere in America and hear the same generalizations. To know how this can turn into raw hatred and mass murder should get our attention.
Prejudice is a common human problem the world over. Does it make you wonder what the root of the problem is that drives us to need someone to look down on? Are we all prejudice in some way?
I have opinions about "groups" of people that may be considered prejudice. There are statistical differences is cultures but how do we process and explain those differences? Have you had a close relationship with someone from another culture? Have you formed your opinions without such a relationship?
Do you think there were family influences that affect how you perceive these people? Do you think your religion is strong enough to stand along side these other faiths that are coming in?
I would enjoy your thoughts/questions, please comment even if you don't agree with me.

That which we call a rose...

That which we call a rose by any other word would smell as sweet." (from Romeo and Juliet)

Do you ever ponder your name? Seems like every school girl at some time thinks of a name she would like to be called in her daydream fantasies.

I remember hating the name Vicky simply because two of the meanest and most obnoxious girls in my life for a few years were both named Vicky. At that time in my life that name was synonymous with unrelenting evil. (Since then, I have met some wonderful Vickies!)

One of the Asian students in the ESL class I have been teaching this year told me her name means "virgin" in Vietnamese. In her attempt to convey this concept to me with her limited English, I witnessed what some might say was a graphic sign language answer to my inquiry. I have learned to keep an open mind in these situations but sometimes I must suppress a blush.

My alter ego is named Lily. She lives in a Victorian era, has poofy, pinned up hair, high buttoned shoes, a parasol, and white bustled dress . She wears cotton gloves in public, carries a lace hankie, and is careful not to damage her porcelain skin with too much direct sun, but gets "down and dirty" when it comes to social justice and humanitarian causes.

If you could have named yourself would you have chosen a different name and why?
Do you have an alter ego?

The Lord Giveth and the Lord Taketh

Never have I experienced such an intense 8 days. We buried my Mom, Zona , last Monday and this Monday we listened outside a birthing room door in a Seattle WA. hospital to the first cries of our first grandchild, Micah James.

In between, I switched gears and got back into wedding plans for daughter Erin's June 9th wedding plus tried to get caught up at work after being in central Oregon for 10 days with my Mom before she died.

A plethora of emotions has kept my mind engaged as my body has soaked up much needed sleep with desperation.

I had unexpected emotions after my Mom's death; like feeling guilty for sleep, food, or even a hot bath...I knew she would not want that but somehow I felt frustrated to still be enjoying life when I could not relieve her suffering or keep her with us...it was as if I had failed her someway even tho I kept vigil at her bedside for many days. It has gotten better as the days have rolled by however and more and more I am able to realize the great release she is experiencing from terrible pain she has endured for months and the living condition changes she never really embraced. I know I will see her again so we are the ones to be pitied; left behind, unable to call her like I used to, a 50 something orphan in a sense, yet God does not leave us there.

How timely to send this little one to our family to press against this aching heart and fill it with new emotions of wonder and joy.

" Like as a father pitieth his children, so the LORD pitieth them that fear him.
For he knoweth our frame; he remembereth that we are dust.
As for man, his days are as grass: as a flower of the field, so he flourisheth. For the wind passeth over it, and it is gone; and the place thereof shall know it no more.
But the mercy of the LORD is from everlasting to everlasting upon them that fear him, and his righteousness unto children's children. " Psalms 103:13-17

A week to remember

Mexico and the ocean.....I think there is no better combination?

Rod and I just returned from a week in Mazatlan Mexico. We took Bethany on her Washington spring break along with B's room mate Gitta. B and I had earned free airline tickets allowing us to fly anywhere Alaska flies for free, even on spring break, so for once we could afford such a trip during a peak time.

The girls slept on the hide a bed in the living room with the ocean breeze softly blowing over the faces, hair flowing over the sides of their pillows as I got up in the mornings to make coffee in the little kitchenette side of the room. Rod and I claimed the privacy of the little bedroom, exchanging the ocean's soft roar and breeze for morning traffic and bus horns waking us each morning on our side of the unit.

I find myself wondering why we had such a good time and I know that a big part of it was the Mexican people. I stood waiting for a bus one afternoon and witnessed 3 children get off a city bus and greet an aunt and uncle waiting for them. The children raced down the sidewalk and each one was enveloped into the arms of the waiting relatives, kissed on the cheek, and held close for sometime. I was struck by the warmth of it all. Even good friends greeted each other with a warmth and lack of inhibition rarely seen here in the North...I found myself a little envious and wondering why we hold back. Is it vulnerability or fear of expectations that we cannot meet?

I know we were in a tourist area but even the help where we stayed seemed genuinely glad to have us around. We tried to speak to them in Spanish when we could and they graciously corrected our clumsy attempts to be polite and avoid the brusk North American stereotype that seems to have forgotten how to recognize the individual before asking/demanding assistance.

Each interaction was prefaced with a Buenos Dias/tardes,.. and ended with "por favor" (please)

Tourists who fail to learn these nicities may find themselves ignored and neglected until they learn their manners in such cultures! But even the smallest attempt to be polite is usually rewarded with great grace and generosity.

Bethany is always our best ambassador. Her engaging smile and cheery Spanish inquieries usually melted away the reserve of taxi drivers and anyone else jaded by the influx of we"gringos" constantly needing transportation to and from the airport. Soon we would learn how many children, grandchildren these men had, how long they had lived in Mazatlan, what the weather had been like, and maybe even a little culture and history before arriving at our destination. Knowing those things about someone makes it easier to identify with them and they become more like potential friends instead of just a driver.

The "Golden Zone" is a several mile strip of hotels on the ocean and you can walk most of it in one afternoon or evening. Even at night the strip is populated with both natives and tourists out enjoying the cool breeze as you walk by hotels, shops, and restaurants. City buses roar by you and will stop with just a wave of you hand when your feet say, "enough". The old city buses can be ridden for 4.5 pesos or about 45 cents American but little golf carts vie for your business and will take you most anywhere on the zone for about $4 for your group.

When we returned Monday night it was raining at the Portland airport. A cold wind drove the rain into us as we loaded our luggage into our van..daughter Erin so graciously dropping us off and picking us up at ungodly hours. At 2 am I slipped between the sheets of my own bed, grateful to finally be "out of the sky" and on solid ground. My bed felt incredibly good and somehow the rain didn't seem to matter as much as before I left...because somewhere south, the warm ocean breeze still blows through stately palm trees and gentle people still greet each other warmly.

Half a kid?

It's time. I must introduce Pekah our dog, formally known as "Pekah Boo". She is the biggest Boston Terrior you will ever see, weighing in at 39 lbs vs the 18 most females weigh.

After 11 years of a house full of family and no dog, we gave in and got her...probably a desperate effort to soften the blow of the quickly emptying nest I was experiencing 6 years ago. Was it a rational decision? Even then I would have told you it wasn't.

My standard advice to people thinking of getting a dog is that they are "half a kid" in terms of the commitment and even to the cost of having one around. No one in their right mind would go out and pay good money for "half a kid" right when their parenting days were about to lighten.

Rod was in his "right" mind....I just wanted a dog and it did not take our high schooler Bethany long to jump right on my side of the bandwagon. Rod knew he was done for. Looking back, since Pekah sleeps on the floor on his side of the bed, he takes her out at night, cleans up the yard, and has walked her more than any of us, he should have had the final say. He just pitied his poor wife, losing her own babies with no grand babies to fill these arms and this heart. Who could live with that kind of misery?

Still, the dog is alone a lot during the day and when I am here she sleeps as she is now. How much happier she would be if kids were bursting in and out of the doors the way it used to be...every dog needs that companionship...God help the ones who are locked up all day by owners who think the dog's desperate joy at seeing them at the end of the day somehow justifies leaving them alone without companionship for half their life. If that includes being crated up then I think it is time to call in the humane society! People who do that to their animal should be forced to sit and watch their dog try to cope with that kind of abuse hour after hour with no mental or physical stimulation!

Every part of our lives now has to take in account the dog, evenings, weekends, and esp vacations. To take care of a dog humanely is a big commitment and involves money. My 87 year old mother just moved into assisted living and one of her biggest concerns is the dog she had to find a temporary home for...that issue is still a heart break...which begs the question of when and why should someone get a dog. Is there a right time to have one and a wrong time?

In the meantime, we love our Pekah. She is the only dog I have ever been around that "smiles" when she is really happy. She is also very smart and doesn't bark unless it is important. This picture is of her with her ears back which probably means she was a little annoyed, or maybe just very bored? If you were here however, she would smile for you and do amazing tricks like "die" on command and pop up those beautiful ears. Her eyes would brighten with the excitement of meeting you because everyone who enters our door is here to see and love her in her mind...and she will love you unconditionally from the start. Yes, that is what a wonderful dog will bring into your life, I just hope we give them the kind of home and companionship a creature like that deserves.. it is the least we can do.

(If you want to see Rod's humorous side of this issue go to: hungerisgood.blogspot.com and read Rod's funny account of "Match Man", see link on the right)

Savant video...don't miss this video

Do you know what a savant is? It is someone with extraordinary abilities like the character Dustin Hoffman played in "Rain man".
Check out this cool video clip that I borrowed from my nephew Luke and Ailie Daniel's blog. This is about a Savant called the "Human Camera and is unbelievable!! See link below.
http://www.boreme.com/media/yr2006/rome-drawing.wmv

Luke and Ailie live in LA now and are pretty serious bloggers. You never know what you might find on their blog...including Thai Elvis?? Check them out at http://www.lukeandailie.blogspot.com/

Who gives this woman to this man?

This last month a 20 something young man asked Rod and I for our blessing on his plans to take our daughter as his wife. Now, this is a fun time of life, one we all look forward to. We all want our adult children to trust God with their future and we watch with delight as God brings two committed Christian people together.
The problem I am having is with that word "take". Life has been "taking" a lot lately, our parents, our surviving parent's health and independence, our own youth and strength...our time in all kinds of ministries. About the only thing people don't seem to want from is our advice....Rod says that is why we have so much good advice.....most people don't want it!

It is not the "sharing" I am having trouble with, it is the "giving." First you GIVE yourself to your husband, then you GIVE birth, then you GIVE yourself to your children for years, then you GIVE your kids a private education and the opportunity to go to college. Then, about the time they get mature enough to enjoy a cup of coffee with or an afternoon of shopping....someone wants you to GIVE them up! It doesn't matter how many diapers you've changed or those nights when we took turns sleeping with a croupy, feverish baby so we could both face the next day with a least a couple hours of worrisome sleep?

My mother in law Irene used to say, "Well, what did you think you were raising them for...do you want them to live with you forever?" Well, no. Actually Rod and I like having our pre-kid life back....going to bed when we want, eating when and what we want...if one of us will heat up something out of the frig the other will eat about anything...we are still reveling in the wondrous quiet and often light a candle to celebrate our peaceful leftovers. Still, I keep looking for the balance to all this giving!
I've looked forward for some years now to expanding our family, "spreading our tent" to include sons and daughter in laws, and God is giving us some good ones! Some say the reward comes in having grandchildren. Well, grandchild number one is coming this spring and from what I have observed grand parenting is a blissful insanity all its own...God's tonic for the pain of GIVING? Guess we will find out.

NEW NEWS

Here are some interesting things I read today

Fathers in their 40's and 50's are now proven to contribute to congenital birth problems such as autism, dwarfism, and many other problems. Males over age 50 are 3X more apt to father a child with schizophrenia and their grandchildren may even be at risk for some problems. It appears men in their 20's have the healthiest children but 30's are usually ok.

Voluntary assembly in public school common area. Interesting story from our area (NW) regarding high school kids meeting in the common area to pray. Now some of them have been suspended for refusing to meet in a classroom outside the common area. Reasons given; blocking traffic and offending those who do not like people praying in public.

"Meism". a term for those of us who think a good conversation is 20 minutes of expounding on ourselves and our own interests, rarely asking the other person any questions or if we do, not really listening to what they have to say. Then walking away feeling we have had a great "conversation"
If you aren't already doing this you probably will start as you get older...what is it about us that as we get older we lose our ability to focus on others? Are you one of these people? If you have escaped so far will you eventually turn into one of these droning bores? Are people doing this at early ages than before and if so why? Is blogging a form of ""Meism"?

Feel free to weigh in on these items in the comment section. Lin

Hope Springs Eternal

Couldn't resist this scene outside my office today of spring flowers blooming victoriously amid a carpet of icy sleet .

Just minutes before, the sky was green-grey, the world subdued under the cold wrath of one of winter's last ragings.

What beauty there is in those who stand strong amidst trials and onslaught, bringing faith and hope to overwhelming dark days.

"Ain't no sunshine when your gone"

Sun, I think I have forgotten what you look and feel like; we have labored under this oppressively cold rain now for so many weeks. This is western Oregon at its worst I would say, not just gray and rainy but COLD rain driving sideways at you as you scramble into your car.

My spring flowers are pushing up through the ground but appear on "hold" like the rest of us, head down, clutching our coats, wondering when winter's grip will be broken.

Days like this I like to peruse my photos of warmer times....like this family picture from Mazatalan Mexico last spring. You can't tell by looking but that is the Pacific Ocean right outside those windows and there is a WARM breeze coming in those open windows.

Those of us who put up with this winter weather from October through mid July should really get some kind of purple heart....we have a "light box" I sit and read under in the evenings that helps get me through the worst "light deprivation" months...but my bones ache for the caress of a warm spring day. How do you cope?

PS I just heard from someone that read my blog but didn't comment. If you read this would you just leave your name in the comments? Since I am new to blogging it would be fun to know you were there even if you don't want to leave a comment. Lin

Does God go to movies?

I just returned from the best film I have seen in 10 years...possibly one of the best films you will see in your entire lifetime.

Rod and were wrapping up our work week on Friday afternoon and decided to go see the new film, "Amazing Grace" on the life and work of one of the greatest British activists/orators of the 1800's, William Wilberforce.
This British Christian, pastored by John Newton, the former slave trader and author of the song "Amazing Grace, grew up to lead that nation in the abolishment of slavery using his political forum in Parliment and the grass roots efforts of a hand full of zealots.

Driven to push through what often must have seemed like insurmountable opposition, greed, and apathy, these faithful few found the grace and strength to persevere in their burning compassion for their oppressed and downtrodden African brothers and sisters.
I believe that in causes like this, (and in our day, abortion), these kind of hearts are made one with the heart of the Almighty as He looks upon the suffering of the innocent and the cries of their anguish pierce His heavens.
This is a true testimonial of how God can use people of faith to do His work wherever He has placed them; in this case politics.

I have never been this moved by anything in a movie theater. This is an uplifting film about a cause so close to God's heart that you can feel His presence in attendance with you.

PS. Go early or pre buy your tickets. I predict that this film will be sold out or you will be on the very front row if you don't plan ahead.

So you want more authority

In conversation with our office partner Vern today, he mentioned a principle that excited me.
He said, "God will only give US as much authority as we are willing to come under ourselves."

This is very thought provoking! His example; Jesus Christ gave up His authority and came under total submission for us. What was His outcome....he gained "ALL authority over heaven and earth"!

."...He humbled Himself and became obedient to the point of death, even the death of the cross,. Therefore God has HIGHLY exalted Him and given him THE name which is above every name, that at the name of Jesus every knee should bow.... and every tongue confess that Jesus Christ is Lord." (read Philippians 2: 5-11 for the whole context)

How does this apply to authority in the job, home, church, government?
Can we trust God to work through those who hold positions of authority that we do not trust or respect? (If you want a baptism of info on this principle look up "Basic Youth" seminars and attend the next seminar, go to: http://iblp.org/iblp/)
Are there situations where we are obligated to disobey authority?
I invite your comments. Lin

Effective and Natural?

Can these two terms coexist?

In one of my two nursing careers, (before and after staying home with small children), I found myself called upon to give a long lasting birth control injection to a young, unmarried, woman.

The strong hormone was mixed in a heavy, oily substance, something like thick motor oil, allowing it to stay in the tissue for several months thus slowing absorption in order to achieve the desired 3 month, long term birth control. I dreaded giving these shots as anytime you inject something so incompatible with human tissue that it resists being absorbed there is usually some unhealthy insult to the tissues as they try to tolerate what is essentially a foreign if not hostile substance.

As I talked to the young woman before drawing up her injection, she complained to me that she had developed severe and chronic headaches which were probably related to a higher blood pressure than one should have at her age. I asked her if she was aware that the injection I was preparing to give her could cause side effect such as she was describing. She said no one had told her that. I asked her if she had ever considered another less drastic form of birth control and we discussed some other options that might work more compatibly with her own body. I suggested she ask the doctor about her options, esp since headaches could be considered minor compared to more serious risks like stroke, blood clots, etc. for some individuals.

When I talked to the doctor later about the discussion he "flew at me", furious that I had told her to ask about other options as he felt that people such as her (promiscuous) needed a birth control method that required the least amount of compliance on her part to keep her from coming back to us with an unplanned pregnancy.

Now I am a practical, "bottom line", kind of person but I wonder if this kind of approach is what helps society in the long run. While it does solve the immediate problem most efficiently, do we really help society by withholding information, education, and our trust from such individuals?
Are we so tired of seeing people make selfish and short sighted decisions that we have just resorted to control vs education? I invite you to weigh in on this.

The below link is an interesting article on the effectiveness of natural birth control when individuals are properly educated and use what they have learned responsibly.
http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/health/6375261.stm
Here's a link to an organization that teaches this in the Portland area.
www.nwfs.org

HOW I NAMED MY BLOG

I was on the phone with my 80 something Mom telling her about my week, which I thot had been unusually challenging. Some days/weeks seem to defy one's own wisdom and endurance, even in your 50's and I was looking forward to a little sympathy along with maybe some sage advice.
I was shocked at what came out of my mother's mouth! She said, "Well, honey, that is what adults do."
Now I am telling you, this was not some 20 something looking for sympathy over a broken fingernail. I am in my 50s you know...why, other people come to ME for advice.
I felt like I had come to her on fire and she threw gasoline on me.

The funny thing though is that my husband and I say this to each other now, esp. when mulling over why we have to respond to yet another situation with grace, maturity, and endurance...sometimes biting our tongues until the grooves bleed, rather than saying that thing that is screaming inside our heads.

So if you find yourself doing things that require; the commitment of a new mother, the patience of Job, the perserverence of a saint, nerves of steel, and the restraint of a bomb specialist, it is probably a very adult move in the maturist sense of the word because, "That's what adults do."