I've never done a wedding!

My second child (daughter Erin), was married this last Saturday.

The week before the wedding people would come up to me and ask the same question, "Are you ready for the wedding?" It was a perfectly reasonable question but my response did not seem to be what they wanted to hear. I would answer, "How do I know if we are ready, I have never planned a wedding before!"

In the last 6 months I have learned an amazing amount of information about what goes into planning a wedding. As I sat there on the front row watching my daughter vow her love to my new son in law, I thought, "Wow, 6 months of planning, buying, cleaning, for a one hour ceremony and simple reception." I feel like I should change careers and use all this amazing info now but in reality I will just appreciate the next wedding I attend a lot more.

Here's a couple of things I learned:

1. There is a reason why florists get paid for "designing" flowers for special occasions.

They have access to wholesale flowers, tools, and supplies in a world the rest of us know little about.

Don't think you are going to save money by trying to be one of these professionals. Flowers have to be designed the day before and the bouquets, corsages, etc have to be kept in water or moist and chilled, then transported to the wedding all in the 12 hours before the big event. You do NOT want to do this on top of being mother of the bride! You will be master minding everything else.

2. It is not buying the food, it is getting it prepared, served, and cleaned up afterword that you need help with. Either hire this done or have some VERY talented and GOOD friends you can count on. If the facility says their volunteers will take care of everything...HAVE A BACK UP PLAN and people to jump in if necessary. (this happened to me this last weekend)

People will forgive you if the ceremony has glitches, but when they hit that reception hall you don't want 300 people waiting for the food to be put out!

3. Email family, guests, and wedding party with instructions re what time to show up and what to expect. If they need to grab some lunch before a 2 pm wedding give them those instructions and what is the earliest time they should show up for pictures or for guests, how early to arrive.

We decided next time we will make sack lunches for the wedding party with their names on them, otherwise someone always goes hungry...this time it was the maid of honor who was running errands when the snacks were set out for the attendants.

4. Delegate! When people offer to help (or owe you), keep them in mind esp for those last minute details that are no biggie but on top of everything else a lot. We had to send someone out to buy different candles, with specifics most people can do these kind of errands even last minute.

Utilize the bridal party...if you think about, you will know who can handle what jobs and most jobs are really pretty minimal requests but a big help altogether.

5. Have some kind of a program plan for the reception. We had a family member MCEE and he introduced the Bride and Groom as they entered, determined the oldest married couple there, set up the toasts, etc .

6. Plan how and where you can connect with family afterwards.

People make a real effort to come, some from good distances, you need a place to "catch up and debrief" after the wedding if possible.

7. Expect that something will go wrong. (We forgot to put on the music during the reception)

But in the famous words of my deceased mother in law, Irene Willett, " In the end they will be just as married!" So don't miss the moment...soak it in.