Giving birth again..the last wedding

We had our last family wedding last Friday night, Here is husband Rod dancing with our "baby"

Daughter Bethany and Will tied the knot in the historical First Baptist church downtown Portland.

It turned out about a perfect as a wedding could..thanks to all the helping hands that went into the planning and the work that friends and family poured into this one evening.

Light hor d'eurves served and cleaned up after by Catering by Bo in SW Portland, flowers arranged and delivered by Wild Strawberry in Oregon City, and the most delicious cake I have ever eaten by Cheryl's cup of tea in Oregon City made this an elegant yet affordable event this time. You want to enjoy your own child's wedding and there are folks out there who can do these things for you affordably. I learned the hard way trying to do these things myself at the last wedding. Enjoy this day!

The process does seem to get easier by the third child..not just in knowing what to expect and having more "hands" involved but also in seeing the outcome after the wedding.

When my son, our first child, married I was broadsided sitting there on the pew by myself while husband Rod prepared to play his trumpet up front. Tears began flowing from nowhere as my son stood there in his tux....a strangely tall, handsome two year old in a mother's eyes.

Just as you do not leave a pregnant mother's side while she is giving birth, neither should she sit alone on a church pew and experience the painful but healthy "separation" of her child as they transfer that emotional intimacy permanently and legally to another person. Once again I watched the birth to adulthood slide show but this time that son sat by me and put my hand in his as I once again "gave birth" for the third and last time, now to his youngest sister.

You can love your in laws to death and still feel the ripping and tearing of heart strings as your child leaves the "womb" of your heart.

I have the advantage now of seeing the outcome of sharing a child and getting in laws and grandchildren back in the trade, just as a mother looks forward to holding her second newborn with the knowledge that better things are ahead.... but you still need that hand on yours and that lace hankie handy to dab those brimming eyes.

On a more practical side, here is a list for your Mother of the Bride bag put together over several weeks before the wedding: (good idea for wedding coordinators too!)

Also: leave your money and credit cards home...you don't want to be worrying about your purse, let hubby pay for incidentals. Also, put phone no's in your cell phone of key people you may need to call the day of the wedding, florists, cake person, wedding coordinator etc.

Here is the list for your bag: Mine was a BIG strudy woven bag ...think laundry size

Wet wipes....make up on black dress does not wipe off well with paper towels

antipersirant ...people are nervous...its a long day

PINS straight pins, safety pins, bobby pins, corsage pins

thread and needle (black and white)

hair bands

rubber bands

tape reg and double sided for clothes etc...don't plan on using it on pews etc (hard on church)

*Also be sure your photographer knows if there is a NO FLASH policy as many older churches now require

florists putty (wobbly candles, etc)

I also took the candles, and the wedding rings just to keep track of them for bride/groom

butane lighter

band aides

pain relievers

lip balm (dehydration is a real problem)

plastic zip lock bags...(put all the little stuff in one Ziploc for quick retrieval)

toothbrush/paste/mints (you will want to freshen your breath before all those pictures/hugs

black marker and lunch sacks (make separate snacks for bride/groom/wedding party) and write their names on the sacks

(trays of open snacks get eaten by the wrong people sometimes)

water in bottles (write names of wedding party on bottles....keep everyone hydrated!

food for wedding party: Costco roll up turkey rolls, green grapes, crackers (no stain finger foods)(this NO time for low blood sugar!) (the food won't fit in your bag but bring something to eat...white cheddar popcorn was popular.)

hair spray/gel, brush comb, curling iron

make up bag and larger folding mirror for touch ups

water proof mascara (yep)

nice hankie in a plastic bag until the ceremony (friend mailed me one...with a beautiful card)

iron or steamer

finger nail polish ( clear/white to touch up those french tips)

finger nail file and clippers, small scissors

dryer sheets (gets rid of static under dresses and clingy problems)

tupperwear or other disposable dishes for food storage

ice chest for food and flowers (don't count on frig space)

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You may not use all these items but they can save the day in some instances and you know Mom is always the "go to person"....and you will always be....even AFTER they are married.