This last month a 20 something young man asked Rod and I for our blessing on his plans to take our daughter as his wife. Now, this is a fun time of life, one we all look forward to. We all want our adult children to trust God with their future and we watch with delight as God brings two committed Christian people together.
The problem I am having is with that word "take". Life has been "taking" a lot lately, our parents, our surviving parent's health and independence, our own youth and strength...our time in all kinds of ministries. About the only thing people don't seem to want from is our advice....Rod says that is why we have so much good advice.....most people don't want it!
It is not the "sharing" I am having trouble with, it is the "giving." First you GIVE yourself to your husband, then you GIVE birth, then you GIVE yourself to your children for years, then you GIVE your kids a private education and the opportunity to go to college. Then, about the time they get mature enough to enjoy a cup of coffee with or an afternoon of shopping....someone wants you to GIVE them up! It doesn't matter how many diapers you've changed or those nights when we took turns sleeping with a croupy, feverish baby so we could both face the next day with a least a couple hours of worrisome sleep?
My mother in law Irene used to say, "Well, what did you think you were raising them for...do you want them to live with you forever?" Well, no. Actually Rod and I like having our pre-kid life back....going to bed when we want, eating when and what we want...if one of us will heat up something out of the frig the other will eat about anything...we are still reveling in the wondrous quiet and often light a candle to celebrate our peaceful leftovers. Still, I keep looking for the balance to all this giving!
I've looked forward for some years now to expanding our family, "spreading our tent" to include sons and daughter in laws, and God is giving us some good ones! Some say the reward comes in having grandchildren. Well, grandchild number one is coming this spring and from what I have observed grand parenting is a blissful insanity all its own...God's tonic for the pain of GIVING? Guess we will find out.
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
2 comments:
Not true Lin, I'll take your advice any time!
Lets just say that you "gave" J.R. to me so that we could "give" back to you of our own free will. We give you our time and energy while still giving you peace, quiet and fewer worries. Giving you a grandchild is a bonus. You get cuddles and loves, pride over a cute child, and unconditional love without the diaper changes, and long nights.
When we think about giving long enough I think that we find most of the time we receive something when we give. I'm looking forward to receiving a brother-in-law even though we have been giving Erin away bit-by-bit this whole time.
Post a Comment