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Thursday, March 29, 2007

A week to remember




Mexico and the ocean.....I think there is no better combination?


Rod and I just returned from a week in Mazatlan Mexico. We took Bethany on her Washington spring break along with B's room mate Gitta. B and I had earned free airline tickets allowing us to fly anywhere Alaska flies for free, even on spring break, so for once we could afford such a trip during a peak time.

The girls slept on the hide a bed in the living room with the ocean breeze softly blowing over the faces, hair flowing over the sides of their pillows as I got up in the mornings to make coffee in the little kitchenette side of the room. Rod and I claimed the privacy of the little bedroom, exchanging the ocean's soft roar and breeze for morning traffic and bus horns waking us each morning on our side of the unit.

I find myself wondering why we had such a good time and I know that a big part of it was the Mexican people. I stood waiting for a bus one afternoon and witnessed 3 children get off a city bus and greet an aunt and uncle waiting for them. The children raced down the sidewalk and each one was enveloped into the arms of the waiting relatives, kissed on the cheek, and held close for sometime. I was struck by the warmth of it all. Even good friends greeted each other with a warmth and lack of inhibition rarely seen here in the North...I found myself a little envious and wondering why we hold back. Is it vulnerability or fear of expectations that we cannot meet?
I know we were in a tourist area but even the help where we stayed seemed genuinely glad to have us around. We tried to speak to them in Spanish when we could and they graciously corrected our clumsy attempts to be polite and avoid the brusk North American stereotype that seems to have forgotten how to recognize the individual before asking/demanding assistance.

Each interaction was prefaced with a Buenos Dias/tardes,.. and ended with "por favor" (please)
Tourists who fail to learn these nicities may find themselves ignored and neglected until they learn their manners in such cultures! But even the smallest attempt to be polite is usually rewarded with great grace and generosity.

Bethany is always our best ambassador. Her engaging smile and cheery Spanish inquieries usually melted away the reserve of taxi drivers and anyone else jaded by the influx of we"gringos" constantly needing transportation to and from the airport. Soon we would learn how many children, grandchildren these men had, how long they had lived in Mazatlan, what the weather had been like, and maybe even a little culture and history before arriving at our destination. Knowing those things about someone makes it easier to identify with them and they become more like potential friends instead of just a driver.

The "Golden Zone" is a several mile strip of hotels on the ocean and you can walk most of it in one afternoon or evening. Even at night the strip is populated with both natives and tourists out enjoying the cool breeze as you walk by hotels, shops, and restaurants. City buses roar by you and will stop with just a wave of you hand when your feet say, "enough". The old city buses can be ridden for 4.5 pesos or about 45 cents American but little golf carts vie for your business and will take you most anywhere on the zone for about $4 for your group.
When we returned Monday night it was raining at the Portland airport. A cold wind drove the rain into us as we loaded our luggage into our van..daughter Erin so graciously dropping us off and picking us up at ungodly hours. At 2 am I slipped between the sheets of my own bed, grateful to finally be "out of the sky" and on solid ground. My bed felt incredibly good and somehow the rain didn't seem to matter as much as before I left...because somewhere south, the warm ocean breeze still blows through stately palm trees and gentle people still greet each other warmly.








Half a kid?



It's time. I must introduce Pekah our dog, formally known as "Pekah Boo". She is the biggest Boston Terrior you will ever see, weighing in at 39 lbs vs the 18 most females weigh.
After 11 years of a house full of family and no dog, we gave in and got her...probably a desperate effort to soften the blow of the quickly emptying nest I was experiencing 6 years ago. Was it a rational decision? Even then I would have told you it wasn't.
My standard advice to people thinking of getting a dog is that they are "half a kid" in terms of the commitment and even to the cost of having one around. No one in their right mind would go out and pay good money for "half a kid" right when their parenting days were about to lighten.
Rod was in his "right" mind....I just wanted a dog and it did not take our high schooler Bethany long to jump right on my side of the bandwagon. Rod knew he was done for. Looking back, since Pekah sleeps on the floor on his side of the bed, he takes her out at night, cleans up the yard, and has walked her more than any of us, he should have had the final say. He just pitied his poor wife, losing her own babies with no grand babies to fill these arms and this heart. Who could live with that kind of misery?
Still, the dog is alone a lot during the day and when I am here she sleeps as she is now. How much happier she would be if kids were bursting in and out of the doors the way it used to be...every dog needs that companionship...God help the ones who are locked up all day by owners who think the dog's desperate joy at seeing them at the end of the day somehow justifies leaving them alone without companionship for half their life. If that includes being crated up then I think it is time to call in the humane society! People who do that to their animal should be forced to sit and watch their dog try to cope with that kind of abuse hour after hour with no mental or physical stimulation!
Every part of our lives now has to take in account the dog, evenings, weekends, and esp vacations. To take care of a dog humanely is a big commitment and involves money. My 87 year old mother just moved into assisted living and one of her biggest concerns is the dog she had to find a temporary home for...that issue is still a heart break...which begs the question of when and why should someone get a dog. Is there a right time to have one and a wrong time?
In the meantime, we love our Pekah. She is the only dog I have ever been around that "smiles" when she is really happy. She is also very smart and doesn't bark unless it is important. This picture is of her with her ears back which probably means she was a little annoyed, or maybe just very bored? If you were here however, she would smile for you and do amazing tricks like "die" on command and pop up those beautiful ears. Her eyes would brighten with the excitement of meeting you because everyone who enters our door is here to see and love her in her mind...and she will love you unconditionally from the start. Yes, that is what a wonderful dog will bring into your life, I just hope we give them the kind of home and companionship a creature like that deserves.. it is the least we can do.

(If you want to see Rod's humorous side of this issue go to: hungerisgood.blogspot.com and read Rod's funny account of "Match Man", see link on the right)

Saturday, March 17, 2007

Savant video...don't miss this video

Do you know what a savant is? It is someone with extraordinary abilities like the character Dustin Hoffman played in "Rain man".
Check out this cool video clip that I borrowed from my nephew Luke and Ailie Daniel's blog. This is about a Savant called the "Human Camera and is unbelievable!! See link below.
http://www.boreme.com/media/yr2006/rome-drawing.wmv

Luke and Ailie live in LA now and are pretty serious bloggers. You never know what you might find on their blog...including Thai Elvis?? Check them out at http://www.lukeandailie.blogspot.com/

Monday, March 12, 2007

Who gives this woman to this man?

This last month a 20 something young man asked Rod and I for our blessing on his plans to take our daughter as his wife. Now, this is a fun time of life, one we all look forward to. We all want our adult children to trust God with their future and we watch with delight as God brings two committed Christian people together.
The problem I am having is with that word "take". Life has been "taking" a lot lately, our parents, our surviving parent's health and independence, our own youth and strength...our time in all kinds of ministries. About the only thing people don't seem to want from is our advice....Rod says that is why we have so much good advice.....most people don't want it!

It is not the "sharing" I am having trouble with, it is the "giving." First you GIVE yourself to your husband, then you GIVE birth, then you GIVE yourself to your children for years, then you GIVE your kids a private education and the opportunity to go to college. Then, about the time they get mature enough to enjoy a cup of coffee with or an afternoon of shopping....someone wants you to GIVE them up! It doesn't matter how many diapers you've changed or those nights when we took turns sleeping with a croupy, feverish baby so we could both face the next day with a least a couple hours of worrisome sleep?

My mother in law Irene used to say, "Well, what did you think you were raising them for...do you want them to live with you forever?" Well, no. Actually Rod and I like having our pre-kid life back....going to bed when we want, eating when and what we want...if one of us will heat up something out of the frig the other will eat about anything...we are still reveling in the wondrous quiet and often light a candle to celebrate our peaceful leftovers. Still, I keep looking for the balance to all this giving!
I've looked forward for some years now to expanding our family, "spreading our tent" to include sons and daughter in laws, and God is giving us some good ones! Some say the reward comes in having grandchildren. Well, grandchild number one is coming this spring and from what I have observed grand parenting is a blissful insanity all its own...God's tonic for the pain of GIVING? Guess we will find out.

Friday, March 9, 2007

NEW NEWS

Here are some interesting things I read today

Fathers in their 40's and 50's are now proven to contribute to congenital birth problems such as autism, dwarfism, and many other problems. Males over age 50 are 3X more apt to father a child with schizophrenia and their grandchildren may even be at risk for some problems. It appears men in their 20's have the healthiest children but 30's are usually ok.

Voluntary assembly in public school common area. Interesting story from our area (NW) regarding high school kids meeting in the common area to pray. Now some of them have been suspended for refusing to meet in a classroom outside the common area. Reasons given; blocking traffic and offending those who do not like people praying in public.

"Meism". a term for those of us who think a good conversation is 20 minutes of expounding on ourselves and our own interests, rarely asking the other person any questions or if we do, not really listening to what they have to say. Then walking away feeling we have had a great "conversation"
If you aren't already doing this you probably will start as you get older...what is it about us that as we get older we lose our ability to focus on others? Are you one of these people? If you have escaped so far will you eventually turn into one of these droning bores? Are people doing this at early ages than before and if so why? Is blogging a form of ""Meism"?

Feel free to weigh in on these items in the comment section. Lin