Mothers or "Moth Herders"

Mothers Day   May 8, 2016


Mothers or Moth Herders?

Mother, the word seems awkward to me as I write, like "moth herder".
Actually, being a mother might sometimes feel like herding moths,
moths that must be corrected, protected, fed, comforted, listened to, educated, entertained, disciplined, trained...and then to just ...fly away?

Something about becoming a mother ignites a warm LIGHT in us, a light that our children can never imagine going out, shining alarmingly bright in times of danger or glowing softly by the bedside of a feverish, sleeping child.

Our children will become adults and "fly away" but  they still find themselves drawn back. They like to come home to the light and find it still glowing, perhaps more softly these days, muted by age, different hormone levels, and sometimes the cares of this new season of life.

Even in death every mother leaves her light, it is never extinguished because It glows in the hearts of her children providing comfort and guidance to new little wings,
Wings we sometimes have to say to as my Dad once said to me, "Wait a little longer, til your little wings are stronger".

Lin Willett

The Other Side of Sixty

I turned 60 this month.  There, I said it publicly. 
Not too many women seem to want to advertise this birthday but I have chosen to embrace mine.
My husband threw a great party,  Indian food with all the kids and grand kids, then a limo ride to karaoke with more of our friends and family than I have ever seen in one place at one time.

I will always remember pulling away from my house in a very LONG black vehicle and seeing out the back window FIVE cars full of family and friends creeping along behind, then arriving at a large room with a lot of flowers and just about everyone near and dear to me that could make it waiting my arrival. 
The thought did cross my mind that perhaps I had died and no one had bothered to tell me yet.

Then the biggest surprise. My husband Rod started the party off by singing Lou Rawl's "You'll Never Find".  This was a definite first in our 38 years of marriage all the more amazing that he sang it publicly!
The rest of the afternoon was full of funny stories punctuated by our amateur attempts to sing old songs that somehow seemed harder to sing than they did in the shower that morning.  Since most of us are non drinkers,  we stood on our own bravado and could not blame liquor for our inadequacies.

Since I am a person who loves a good joke, most of the stories were about funny situations others have shared with me.  Hearing a lifetime of stories all at once made me realize that part of my calling must be to entertain others, something I have found joy in doing as long as I can remember.

Looking back  to that day, I'm wondering if somehow I have failed to inspire vs entertain those around me.  Perhaps I have dealt with life too casually.
Yet, there was no way to honor someone like me without humor, as it has been the balm that has made the difficulties and tedium of life bearable for me.

Today, as I am forced to my bed with a bad head cold, (too much birthday sugar?),
I am thinking again about how I want my life to be remembered and I am realizing that my goal in life isn't about being remembered as a great person, rather about being part of something greater than myself. If I fade to the background as a greater cause moves forward then I have accomplished my mission in life.

"Lord, give me Your goals and help me keep them in focus on this other side of 60."

Lin Willett  Feb 2013

A TV or a Gun Must we choose?

If every incident where a gun saved a life were in the nightly news instead of the criminal stories, would our attitude towards guns be different? 

Every American household used to a gun, now we have TVs and the criminals have the guns.

                 Lin Willett   Gladstone Or.

The "I's" have it...at least until age 20

                                                           

My daughter Erin and I have significant birthdays this year.

She turned thirty yesterday and since I was almost 30 when I had her,  I will be ..., well lets just say it is coming up this February.

These two events caused me to stop and reflect a little on the eight or nine different decades we may live in this life in terms of how we see ourselves and how we relate to others. (I will probably  have to revise the last three decades once I have actually lived them.)

Age 0-10  
 "What am I?"    (human, gender, eternal soul....)

Age 10-20
 "Who am I?"  How am I different from my parents and their
their culture?"

Age 20-30 
 "We are the future and if we have any questions we will

ask the internet or our peers."    

Age 30-40 
 My new identity is "parent", we have little time to talk, even to

each other."

Age 40-50 
"I need wisdom, how did you do this?

Age 50-60 
"I have learned so much now, but few are interested."

Age 60-70 
"I am no longer defined by others' actions or opinions. My identity is in you Lord."

Age 70-80  
"They say; 'There's no fool like an old fool',  Lord, help me not to

become one now!"

Age 80-90
 " My influence is coming near the end.  Here I come  Lord, any day now."

Cure for insomnia and hot flashes? Its in your freezer

How can this common item in your freezer cure insomnia, constipation, and maybe even weight gain? Sounds like a cheap scam ad doesn't it?

After two years of trying to stay asleep through hot flashes with sleep aides, hormones, and fans, I finally tried wrapping a hand towel around a large flat container of frozen Blue Ice.
I place it on my chest the minute I start feeling hot. Immediately the flash is quelled and I feel my body coming back into equilibrium. My extremities stay under the covers now which allows me to get back to sleep. When I awake later, I am able to go back to sleep by simply repositioning the ice pack instead of drifting off only to wake up again and again due to more flashes.

 But, what about the other issues; insomnia, constipation, and even weight gain? Turns out the lack of sleep causes a lot of imbalance in our bodies. Fix the sleep and other problems start fixing themselves. I am more alert, ache less, and have fewer food cravings.

 I can hardly believe something so simple could be so effective with NO side effects. So far I have had three full nights of sleep using the ice pack. Give it a try if you have been suffering from night sweats or flashes, no side effects except your husband may complain about your "frigidness."

How to Lose Your Cell Phone

When my Mom was my age, the phone was an oblong, beige, plastic machine that hung on the wall in our family room. When it rang, everyone knew where it was and you simply picked up the receiver off the large hook and said hello. Rod wanted me to join him and Pekah our Boston terrier for a walk Sunday afternoon but suggested I might want to grab my cell phone on the way out. That is when I realized, like you probably have at some time, that I had no idea where my cell phone was. I looked in the last place I had used it to look up something on the internet, in my purse, no luck. Rod doesn’t like to waste time looking for things so he quickly called my phone and to our relief it rang quite loudly somewhere there in the family room where we stood. I tuned my ear to the sound and realized that it was quite close. Turning, I listened for the next ring but the sound seemed to be coming from somewhere else in the room. I spun from side to side trying to zero in on the sound. We lifted up couch cushions, but to no avail, my voicemail greeting soon echoed from his phone. We grabbed a flashlight and looked under the couch before we tried again, my battery has been running out lately so I didn’t want to risk it going dead before I found the phone. Finally he convinced me to let him call it again. I stood in the middle of the room determined to focus this time on the direction of the sound, concentrating hard. Sure enough it was definitely behind me. I turned toward the sound only to have the sound appear to echo off another wall. I was beginning to doubt my sanity when Rod said, “Oh there it is” and pointed to my back pocket. Every time I turned toward the sound, it had moved behind me again. Now we know why those first wall phones were too big to fit in our pockets! Lin Willett May 20th 2012

A Pat On the Back

I stood this week in front of cold steel elevator doors thinking to myself, "Five years already since I last stood here waiting for this elevator."
The surgeon who performed our first colonoscopies had released my husband for another ten years but the polyps they found in my insides warranted a five year return.

I hadn't slept well the night before and as I stood there in the silent hall I wondered why.
Was it the fear they would find something worse this time, the vulnerability of "conscious sedation" that allows you to be awake but not remember, or was it the fact that once again I would be paying for the test?

The first test was before health care reform, this one was no longer considered preventative, so it would be subject to my deductible. I like to call these "the cruises I never took" since the cost is comparable.

As I sat in the mauve carpeted waiting room I pondered this.
Quite frankly it had taken a lot of "big girl" self talk to set up this appointment and I wasn't sure why.

My surgeon swaggered in 45 min after the appointment time, all smiles and with no apology for keeping me sitting with no back support on his paper "lounge." After some friendly banter and a cursory poke or two on my belly he led me out to the scheduling office to set up "our date" for the next Monday.

As I walked back to face the cold elevator, I realized that in addition to the reasons I had balked at setting up this important test, the main one was the fear that they would find something and I would have to make hard decisions.
In reality, there were more likely two GOOD outcomes;

They find nothing and I enjoy blessed peace of mind for years to come!
They find something and the chances are that it will be small, and CURABLE vs TERMINAL, so once again I go home relieved.

That is when I realized there was nothing to fear. It is in the procrastination that we give ourselves true reason to fear.

The doors spread open, I stepped inside the elevator and took a deep breath. If only I could reach my back, I would give myself a nice pat.

FOLLOWUP
Home now resting on my couch where I spend much of the night between visits to the bathroom.

A pleasant morning of warmed blankets and nice surgical personel....no pain except for the IV stick which was momentary, conscious sedation just a well needed nap after last night. Juice, cheese and crackers taste so good on a recovery table.

Four MORE polyps found and biopsied. The colored pictures the doctor brought to me in the recovery area show one that looks precancerous, all will be sent to pathology.

Now that I am home I wonder what those previous four polyps from five years ago would have become by this time. Every colonoscopy makes the next one less scary and increases my chances of a good report. My mind is at rest, "you done good girl!